Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Poem for that horrible day

I wrote this shortly after coming home from the hospital with Joshua, after a long stay in the PICU:

Your skin so pale
like gray fallen snow
with fear and concern all around
your eyes stayed closed
and your body so limp
in stillness you made not a sound

The doctors all wondered
what it could be
"He's so young, he must just be ill"
time went so slow
all more confused
you lay on the table so still

A sudden alarm
your sugars too high
how do we help you come back
the IV's won't go in
your body's too dry
the doctors came in like a pack

They moved us upstairs
the PICU was ready
the nurses, their best of the best
eyes flutter open
fear and relief side by side
more blood needed for each new test

Our fear more intense
tears hit the floor
to see you with tubes in your arm
we worried and prayed
we failed at our role
to keep you safe from all harm

The numbers so high
started to fall
as we let out the greatest of sighs
you woke up and half smiled
and played with your toes
as our hopes continued to rise

We moved yet again
the nurses concerned
with numbers and math we must learn
your flirtation came back
with a smile on your face
so happy for a joyous return

The tubes all came out
they let us go home
we worried just how we would know
with faith, love, and books
we began our new path
of keeping you safe while you grow


  1. Great poem Brian. That is always a hard time to revisit.

  2. This is beautiful! It really brings it all to the surface.

  3. You are an amazing writer and you have a gift to be able to tell the story of our horrible experience. I love you so much and am so proud of you for sharing this. THANK YOU. It is hard to believe it will be one year on Sunday. Thank you for being my partner and co-pancreas.

  4. Ever since I found Shannon's blog, I think of you guys every day. My 7 yr old was dx on March 8, 2010. I have a son, younger than her who will be two on Sunday. Feb 13 is a monumental day in both of our families lives. I am in awe of you and Shannon because it is difficult enough to deal with D, with a 6 or 7 year old who can articulate low BG levels and help some with her care. I know we all deal with what we have been given and fight for our kids every day. It just seems to me that your task has more challenges and I applaud you and Shannon on the amazing job you do as Joshua's parents and pancreas.

  5. Amazing poem, amazing job you are both doing for your amazing little boy. I am so glad that Joshua got so lucky to have you for a Dad and Shannon for a Mom. Love you all.

  6. beautiful. no words to say how much i love you.... just "this much".

  7. this is beautiful...so perfect in this imperfect world. I love you all so much! My heart breaks that you are dealing with this world but rejoices that you are able to be the lifeline for your sweet boy.

  8. you def have a way with words! very ice poem.