Out of the mouth of babes...

Do you know the show "Kids say the darnedest things"? That is a true statement if there ever were one. My boys are totally adorable. This post though, is about my Non-D 5 year old, Jackson. Now, let me preface this post with the fact that Jackson is "all boy". He loves to play rough, race his cars, and run around like crazy. All in all, he is such a sweet little guy, and I was reminded of that last night.

We were getting ready for bed, and Jackson had a dreaded case of the hiccups. Shannon and I tried getting him to take deep breaths, and take sips of water, but nothing was working. Suddenly Shannon gave him a "boo" and it startled him, but the hiccups were still there. He asked why she did that and Shannon told him that sometimes a little scare would frighten the hiccups away.

Now the cute part. My very smart 5 year old sat there and thought for a second. Then he turned around, waited for me to look at him, and then shouted "boo" at me. I looked at him funny, and he responded "Daddy I thought I could scare yours and Joshua's Diabetes away." All I could do was smile. He may be a typical five year old in a lot of ways, but in my eyes, he is exceptional!

A Poem for that horrible day

I wrote this shortly after coming home from the hospital with Joshua, after a long stay in the PICU:

Your skin so pale
like gray fallen snow
with fear and concern all around
your eyes stayed closed
and your body so limp
in stillness you made not a sound

The doctors all wondered
what it could be
"He's so young, he must just be ill"
time went so slow
all more confused
you lay on the table so still

A sudden alarm
your sugars too high
how do we help you come back
the IV's won't go in
your body's too dry
the doctors came in like a pack

They moved us upstairs
the PICU was ready
the nurses, their best of the best
eyes flutter open
fear and relief side by side
more blood needed for each new test

Our fear more intense
tears hit the floor
to see you with tubes in your arm
we worried and prayed
we failed at our role
to keep you safe from all harm

The numbers so high
started to fall
as we let out the greatest of sighs
you woke up and half smiled
and played with your toes
as our hopes continued to rise

We moved yet again
the nurses concerned
with numbers and math we must learn
your flirtation came back
with a smile on your face
so happy for a joyous return

The tubes all came out
they let us go home
we worried just how we would know
with faith, love, and books
we began our new path
of keeping you safe while you grow

Can't the bank hand out fruit to kids...not lollipops?

So I went through the bank drive through yesterday to make a deposit. I had both boys with me in the car, and we were jamming to some kid friendly music. I saw the teller getting my envelop ready, and watched her pick up two lollipops. I got annoyed. I don't know why though. When i was a kid, i loved getting lollipops from the bank. What am i supposed to say? "I'm sorry. We try and avoid simple sugars, like letting sugar syrup harden in a mold that my children can then suck on. Do you happen to have some grapes, or maybe an apple instead?" In the end, I took them, said thank you, and put them away for later. I saved them for big brother and gave Joshua something that I could carb count when we stopped. It just sucks that we have to play these chess games every moment of every day. I guess it still frustrates me a good amount because I only get these experiences on a limited basis. Unfortunately I am usually at work during the better part of the day. When the boys and I are out, just the guys, these things really make me appreciate all of the work and stress that Shannon has to deal with on a daily basis. D-Moms have to be some of the strongest people in the world. If the aren't, they fake it really well!

The boomerang should stay in Australia

When I was a kid, I loved the thought of playing with a boomerang. I had seen them in several shows and just thought they were the coolest thing ever. Then, I went to the museum of natural history on a field trip, and you will never believe what the were selling in the gift shop. For a mere several dollars, I bought my very own boomerang. We were inside so there was no way to try it out, but I was so excited. We went to a park to eat lunch after leaving the museum, and I knew I would get my chance. While everyone else scouted out the best places to sit for lunch, my best friend and I went in search for an open area to try my new toy. Now let me first say that I knew how boomerangs were supposed to work, I had seen them on tv after all. So, I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise at what happened after I threw it. I expected it to come back. I just expected to catch it with my hands and not my head. I immediately gave it to my friend and decided I didn't like boomerangs.

Guess what? Now as an adult, I like boomerangs even less. Though instead of the wooden ones hitting me in the head, it is the blood sugar boomerangs hitting me in my meter. If I have a bowl of ice cream at night and cover it accordingly, why does the body decide it must come racing back to ground zero at light speed. I can feel the boomerang coming as it zeros in. My lips get super cold and tingly. Shannon says I get this weird look in my eyes and I start acting like I've had a few Captain and diet's. The same thing happens with Joshua, my youngest. Isn't diabetes hard enough without crazy variables? Just a rant that I thought I would throw out to the choir :)

Tired of lows!?!?

Why is there no middle ground?  Does it have to be black or white, right or wrong, sweet or sour?  High or low!  That is the problem.  Joshua is either soaring up in the 300's or plummeting overnight.  He did it again last night, and we were out of bananas.  That may not seem like that big of a deal, but trust me, it is.  This kid will eat a banana in his sleep.  He won't take juice or milk overnight, it's not worth his time.  Let me tell you though, he will sit there, keep his eyes closed, and take some banana!  When we have bananas that is.  I don't know if any of you know this, but diabetes sucks! :)  As for me, it's been crazy too.  I have added a little bit of increased exercise lately, and my numbers are in the basement.  I was in the 40's three different times yesterday.  I haven't changed my eating habits.  All I did was start playing Just Dance on the Wii a little bit.  Really?  Just when I think I might be getting a handle on things, it swings the other way.  There is no getting a handle on diabetes.  There is only tolerating and troubleshooting it!  Arrrgh!

Why do I fight it!

So, I was eating some delicious whole wheat pasta that my beautiful wife made tonight, and I was craving some bread.  This started because I knew that my wife had picked up an awesome loaf of cheddar bread the other day.  As I took my first bite, Joshua reached out and sweetly said "Da Da".  My immediate reaction was "no baby, not for Joshua".  Then I felt guilty, followed bu annoyed.  Why is it not for him?  He should get to eat bread to.  It's not good for me either.  I shouldn't eat it...but I do.  I love it.  It is one of my weaknesses.  I had an internal struggle as to whether or not I should give him a piece.  He was eating his dinner well, so I looked at the carbs on the bag, cut a piece off and gave it to him.  In the end, he took a small bite, spit it out, and politely gave it back to me.  All that stress, for nothing :)

Tired!

A no D post huh?  OK.....I am tired.  I used to be an EMT with a the Virginia Beach Rescue Squad and I pulled 12 hour over night shifts every Wednesday and still went to work the next day.  I have been tired before.  Do you want to know the difference.  I can't catch up now.  They say that you can't catch up on sleep.  They say that if you miss sleep for a long period of time, a long sleep period will make things worse.  I think they are lying.  I think that if I could sleep for 16 hours of uninterrupted, un-worrisome sleep, I would be great. 

I fell asleep reading a book to my four year old the other night.  How is that fair to him.  He deserves to have his Dad be there 100% and alert!  The other day, I dozed off sitting in a parking lot on my way to my next school.  I wonder why I am so tired all the time.  Well, whatever it is, I don't want to talk about it today.  I am taking the day off from being tired.  I see mad amounts of coffee in my future.